The End of the World
Katsuki felt numb. He sat in his living room on the couch. Tears stung in his eyes, so much so that he couldn’t hold them back any longer. He was alone anyway, so why should he hold them back?
Alone …
Yes, he was so alone! He held a golden wedding band in his hand. His own band seemingly burned into the flesh of his skin. His chin quivered when he remembered the emotionless green eyes looking into his.
“I’m sorry, Katsuki, but I can’t do this anymore. It’s over.”
Izuku’s voice was void of any emotions. The usage of his first name and not the childish pet name physically hurt the blond more than it should have. Almost more than the words his husband spoke.
He remembered how Izuku pulled the golden band off his finger, how he grabbed his hand and placed the small piece of metal in it.
“Why?”
Katsuki’s voice was hoarse. He could barely hold his tears back while talking to his beloved.
“Because I don’t love you anymore.”
His head was spinning. Deku didn’t love him anymore? No, this was just a cruel joke!
“Y-You don’t love me anymore? Why?”
He remembered Deku shrugging his shoulders. His facial expression was still blank. So unusually blank. Cold. Unnatural.
“I just fell out of love. Our relationship isn’t the same anymore. Not as it used to be.”
Deku closed Katsuki’s hand around the wedding band. His hands felt so hot around Katsuki’s. Usually, the blond had a slightly higher body temperature, but not now. Now he was freezing cold. His entire world came crashing down.
“Goodbye, Katsuki.”
With that, the green-haired man walked past him, out of the room. Out of the house. Out of his life. Katsuki couldn’t speak a word. It felt like his tongue was glued to his palate.
This happened two hours ago, and Katsuki was still in shock. He couldn’t even move more than the few meters he needed to sit on the couch.
Deku left him.
After ten years of marriage, he just left him!
Deku didn’t love him anymore!
Faster and faster, his tears came running down, a hiccup started, and he couldn’t get it under control. He closed his hand over the wedding ring, rubbing his eyes with his palm. Loud sobs escaped him.
He hadn’t realized that Deku felt this way.
He never saw it coming!
How bad of a husband was he to not notice anything?
No matter how Deku felt. Katsuki still loved him deeply. He had been happy in their marriage. So why didn’t Deku say anything?
Why did his love stop? Katsuki couldn’t understand it.
Katsuki’s whole body shook, and his tears ran down faster. He felt like throwing up so much he cried. His heart felt heavy, and his head was clouded in sadness.
He could hear the rumbling of thunder over his loud cries. He had been out all day, searching for a birthday present for Izuku. When he came home, he felt a shift in the atmosphere. He knew that something terrible had happened, but he had never imagined something like this.
Slowly, the blond lay down on the couch, the rain pattered against his windows. It felt like the storm in his head projected to the outside.
He just stayed there on the couch for hours, wondering what he could have done differently. At which point Deku decided he didn’t love him anymore. Was it his fault? What did he do wrong? Why didn’t Deku talk to him?
All those questions plagued him in his sleep. It was a restless night. He made himself throw up because he couldn’t stop crying. He felt absolutely awful.
When Katsuki woke up the following day, his eyes were red and swollen. His cheeks were puffy and red, and he could feel the dried tears streaks on his cheeks. He didn’t bother to wipe them away.
The birds were singing, and the sun shone through the window.
His mind felt so numb when he forced himself to get up. He walked over to the window. The rain was over. The air was cleared, and the sky was red-orange from the rising sun. It looked like every morning.
“Why does the sun go on shining?”
Some birds were on the railing of his balcony. Chirping their sounds as if nothing had happened. As if his world hadn’t ended last night.
“Why do the birds go on singing?”
He couldn’t understand it. His mind couldn’t wrap itself around it. His world had just ended, so why was everything the same as it was?
As if the love of his life hadn’t just left him. Hadn’t broken his heart into pieces. Made him cry so much that he threw up.
He observed the little birds outside his window. They looked so carefree, just going about their day.
Sick of it, Katsuki turned around. He walked towards the kitchen; he needed a coffee. But before he could reach out for the machine, he passed the refrigerator. His eyes snapped to the picture of his beloved and him, smiling, happy, cuddling.
More tears collected in his eyes, and the heavy sting in his heart returned. It felt like thousands of knives stabbed him repeatedly. They looked so happy. This picture was from five years ago when his world was still spinning.
“Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?”
He slid down to the ground pulling his knees closer to his body, his arms wrapping around them. He cried into his knees, still clutching the golden wedding band as if his life depended on it.
Katsuki still couldn’t grasp that his Deku was gone. That it was over. That his world ended. Sadness filled him; it was even worse than when he thought he caused the end of All Might.
Small explosions sparked in his hands; he was too upset to control himself. His entire body shook; it physically hurt. Deku was gone. Deku wouldn’t return home.
The blond didn’t know how long he sat on the ground, but he got disturbed in his sulking when his phone rang. New energy surged through his body. He hoped so much that it was his Deku. So he scrambled over to the couch table where it rang. But when he looked at the display, he saw that it was Kirishima. Not Deku.
His hope died down as quickly as it had come. Emptiness filled his head again. His body lost all strength for a moment.
His eyes felt so swollen; his lashes were clumped together because of his tears. He contemplated if he should even answer, but when the phone didn’t stop ringing, he sighed heavily and picked it up.
“Yes?”
His voice felt graveling; there was a massive lump in his throat. He still felt sick, as if he had to throw up again.
“Morning, Katsuki, is everything alright? You missed your shift.”
He didn’t know …
Kirishima was unaware of what had happened. Unaware that the world had ended. That nothing was like the day before.
“Katsuki?”
He tried hard to suppress it, but he couldn’t stifle the next few sobs. The lump in his throat stopped him from speaking.
“Hey, man, what’s wrong? Are you crying?”
“Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
‘Cause you don’t love me any more.”
“It’s over …”
Katsuki managed to bring out. It took everything he had. He was so tired, his mind still racing. He rolled over onto his back, legs angled. He kept staring at the ceiling, more tears spilling out of those eyes of his.
“Over? What do you mean, Katsuki?!”
This best friend sounded so concerned. He was always concerned.
“D-Deku … he broke up with me. He doesn’t love me anymore …”
It broke out of him again. To speak it out loud made it real even more. Tear gates opened, and they rushed over his cheeks.
“Holy shit! I’m on my way!”
It came out without hesitation. Katsuki imagined he could hear his keys rustling.
“Hold on, Katsuki, okay? I’m getting in my car now. I’m coming over!”
Kirishima kept talking to him over the speaker. Tried to console him. As if this was so easy to fix …
“Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
It ended when I lost your love.”
Deku lost his love for Katsuki, and he didn’t even state a reason. Ten years of marriage, of good times and bad times, were gone. Simply gone. He threw it all away. Why did he do it? It drove Katsuki insane.
He placed an arm over his eyes, and within seconds the fabric of his sleeve was wet; he couldn’t care less. Nothing mattered anymore, now that his world had stopped spinning.
Deku didn’t love him anymore. The most important person in his world stopped loving him. And here he was, with his own feelings. He still loved him. Loved him so, so much.
He already missed his warm smiles, the glimmer in his green eyes. Those adorable freckles. The curly green locks of hair; it always felt so soft under his fingertips.
Nothing mattered anymore because Deku was gone. Just like that. Like the snap of his fingers. He didn’t know what he should do now.
Kirishima couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t fix this unless he brought him his husband back.
But this was impossible. He wouldn’t come back, and Katsuki knew it.
“Goodbye, Katsuki.”
“Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye.”
