The caring family
The third Minute
Kurogane’s Point of View
It was kind of common that the Mage had his tricks to surprise me, but this time it was outrageous. His reaction was not only surprising… it benumbed me. Me and my whole body.
That picture of him, kneeing in front of me, ripping on my clothes, crying at me to explain him my thoughts and feelings because he did now and wanted equivalent payback because he knew I had to handle it like this… I just had to be fair, it’s just a principle. For him this principle chanced.
Being unfair with him wasn’t nearly as bad for me as being the same with somebody else. He kind of deserved a little punishment.
And for me it really was just a little – for him it seemed to be more than anything.
Slowly I calmed my breath down and grabbed his shoulders, still staring on him.
“Stop shou-…”
“Don’t tell me something like this! I want the TRUTH, nothing else!”
He raised his head. It looked like he was going to cut me half with his glare, if I would stay by refusing my answer.
With a sigh I grabbed his hands,
“Let off me and I will tell you.”
I promised.
» This is what I thought, «
Slowly with the ghost of a quiver his hands let off my shredded clothes. I grabbed them again and pulled him up on his feet. Somehow it felt disgusting to talk about feelings and so on with a person kneeing in front of me… well, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop him staring at me, but it really was nearly enough if he wasn’t holding on me for the whole time.
Without any second to wait I let off his hands and took some distance.
That felt better someway…
Without thinking of some words to say I just started in the same style as the blonde,
“So you want to know, why I always was interested in your story and your feelings…?”
He nodded, seeming unsure what to do now.
“The first time we met I didn’t expect something like this behind you but during our journey I noticed that every one of us was telling about himself in some situations – every one but YOU.”
I turned away to take some steps. It was driving me nervous only standing still while giving such a long explanation of my behaviour. I wasn’t used to vindicate myself.
“We all just know those things about you anyone else is able to know just by watching you acting. So, if we are particular about it: you’re a total stranger. To all of us.”
» I thought you need me, «
Yes. That was something I always wanted to tell him: How strange he seemed to me notwithstanding how long I knew him now. In between we had to stay together without the children and shiro-manjû for half a year and even by watching him all of this time I didn’t come to know him better.
Well… yes, after this it only got even worse.
The vampire still looked at me with a probing glare. It seemed like he wasn’t expecting that I really cared about him. Just after I noticed at that time that he was nothing but a poor thing looking for comfort I couldn’t control myself feeling pity with him.
When I was a child I already felt pity for someone really fast and did everything to help out… it was just like a course that I couldn’t wean myself from doing so! More like that I hated myself for this.
Just like in this moment when I looked at that poor idiot in front of me. I hated myself for feeling pity with him. And I hated myself more and more for not being able to explain that.
Where were all those words I nearly planned to say when this situation still was far away?
» This is what I thought so think me naive, «
“It doesn’t explain why you are scratching my wounds till it chases my in dreams…”
again I took a look up to the blonde one. He tried to hold enough strength so keep this a conversation. I could see that with one look in his eye.
I sighed. I had nothing to loose! He gave up all pride so why shouldn’t I do so, too? If I wouldn’t, that moment only would got a question of time… remember: we were forced to spend our lives together now.
“Listen, Fay…”
It was the first time I said his name. His eye got big at this moment, expressing to be more than only surprised, together with his body-language. Well… I was surprised by myself, too! His name sounded weird vocalised by my voice.
“…I just wanted to help you, even if it didn’t look like that, okay?”
“Why are YOU worried…?”
“…sometimes I wonder if you are really that stupid, man!”
Now it was me getting louder in the heat of the moment,
“YOU were the one pronouncing our team as a FAMILY! A family is not only living together, it’s being strong for each other and the most important: it’s caring about each other! So now! Why am I not allowed to care about you and you are allowed to care about me? Where’s the logic in all of this?!”
» I promise you a heart you'd promise to keep, «
I really started getting angry, don’t ask me why.
It felt like someone lit a fire inside me. Like I suddenly knew that there was something standing in front of me what I had to fight for.
Something important.
Something precious.
Something that needed help.
Something that needed MY help…
More than that.
SomeONE needing my help!
My heart was like beating as strong as my voice got telling Fay these words of explanation. Yes. That was the spot.
We were all strangers to each other and grew together as something like a family. In a family everyone is caring about everyone. No excuses. I don’t know what possessed me in that moment to act that strange but… this feeling. It was… yeah, strange by itself. I don’t know how to express it in other ways.
I felt something like to be linked with this people. They got important to me. Maybe because of my past.
I don’t know. Really.
» Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep. «
“But…”
Fays face showed a dazed smile,
“But I thought you don’t care about all this stuff I said.”
“Do I really look like that?”
“Yeah… you DID… but now…”
he looked inward.
I don’t know what force was controlling him at this moment, but I think it was the same as that force controlling my action a few seconds before that.
Slowly he walked over to me, breaking the distance I built minutes ago.
“But now it’s a different thing.”
I got confused,
“What do you mean by that?”
He suddenly smiled. It was not that happy-go-lucky-smile like always. It was a smile that caught me. It looked serious. A serious, REAL smile.
“Do you think we can stay like a family after those things happening here?”
“Hm…”
I didn’t have to think for long. In this situation direction was better by heart than by brain,
“Why shouldn’t we?”
“Because mommy and daddy had a big, bad fight.”
Fay smiled once more.
I puffed a relieved sigh,
“That’s something that happens ever and ever again – I think we can get over it, can’t we?”
» Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep. «
“So daddy still loves mommy?”
“Yeah… he does.”
» Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep. «
