Dear Agony,
Autor: Sakazuki
I can feel them creeping in my head again, lashing out fiercly, clawing at my peace.
Sitting in a room all alone probably never did me any good, 'cause the more I think, the more I remember. The more I remember, the more I feel like a punching bag for everyone.
This feeling starts spreading like some sort of disease, some sort of twisted sickness that ruins most of my day, making me feel miserable for feeling like that. Guilty so to say.
Well, who could have thought that making a close friend scared and angry at the mere sight of oneself could actually hurt that much. I probably don't make it any easier on said friend, but I just have to write my thoughts down. My fears.
The worst of it all: I do not know what to do to keep these thoughts and feelings from creeping through me.
These are the times where I think that I would be better off without anybody to hurt me.
Makes me sick. Makes me sad.
So many people I loved like a sibling. So many that hurt me in the worst way possible. I don't know how it will be with this friend of mine, how long it will take. How long I can take. So precious to me. Too much to actually just abandon, to let go of the agonizing thoughts eating me.
I don't even know how it came to be, this strange twisted situation, and I probably won't be able to understand even though I would know.
Just need to wait patiently. That's what friends do, hm? Waiting? No matter how long. Maybe days, weeks, years. So be it. I just hope that I'm not starting to get numb to this sort of situations.
Goodbye,
yer 'Zuki.