Prolog
All in all it was a dream. A dream dreamed by a lonely soul. By me.
Nothing to do. Nothing to say. Nothing to hear and nothing to see. The only thing to feel is loneliness. Pure, dark loneliness. And in that loneliness stands one living thing. Me. standing there, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, saying nothing and doing nothing.
There I stand. Feeling the loneliness. And thus I am dreaming. Of a world full of colours. A world with sadness and sorrow. A world with laugher and happiness. There, in the pitch black nothing, should be a world filled with life. But also death in a circle with life.
Even now, while I am dreaming, I do fear Darkness for my dream. And then, standing next to me, is the Sun. "Lovely Sun. Stay with me. Stay by my side", do I plead, but Sun just smiles and turns to the world I created, forcing Darkness to fade away. But when she falls asleep crawls Darkness out again.
Not knowing what to do, I feel angry. But Sun always caress my soul and ease my mind. Always longing for my lovely Sun I watch over the world in her slumber. Never falling asleep, always near my world an her, in between of both.
So I became Moon. Knowing that she will shine upon me and my world do I shine for me world which she loves so much.
Feeling that her radiant brightness will warm my face and back, knowing that her soul will always capture my tainted heart and help me shining for my little world, do I stand in between, sometimes giving the world darkness, when I and Sun meet after a century.
The living beings I create do their little steps and look back, straight and ahead. They give me names, name me their lovely goddess, calling my Sun a god, which chuckles me with amusement, when I hear their voices. But in the end did they call my god, telling me their sorrows and thank me for their happiness, insulting me for their misery and wanting me to give them a helping hand.
But I won't. They aren't only my children. They are also my dream. This world is my dream.
This world, of which I dreamed, is filled with my love for her, where we will meet in the living beings and love and hate each other, until few will fulfil my desire and emerge.
Imagination
Imagine that weird sensation you get when meeting somebody. Imagine the worst case scenario while meeting somebody. Imagine how you look in the eyes of somebody and know in that instant, that you’ve just fallen in love.
That’s what happened to me. Not one after another in some random order - But all, what was said above, at once. Just in that instant of a split second.
I happened to meet her, when I was searching for a place where I and my friends could sit down for our next lecture. It was very crowded, since it was the first day and thus the first one of that semester. We had entered a big room in which roughly 200 students could easily gather. I let my eyes wander and saw a common sight in this early hour: Students, who searched for a place to sit, searched for their friends or talked with them while seated or talked with friends while finding seats.
I was one of the latter groups of students. I talked with one of my friends while we were still searching for our own seats. At some point I stopped looking in front of me due to that and walked half forward half sideward down the stairs. We got nearer to the stage where our professor would hold his lecture. I didn’t prefer a place at the front, since the professor would be able to call out to you, if he wanted a question answered. It was a hassle to be called out, since one tends to be distracted by everything or everyone else. But it was also bad to sit in the back of the lecture hall, since it wouldn’t enable you to follow through the lecture. Even I have to admit, that I only listen to some key points of the lecture and then tend to drift mentally away. It was therefore obvious, that we would look for places in the middle of the rows of tables.
I just talked with one of my friends about our plans for the week, when I suddenly bumped into something. I heard the warningly cries of my friends and realised, that my feet weren’t touching the ground anymore. I tried to desperately grab on something to hold my fall. But it was too late. I crashed onto the floor and registered how the world was spinning around me. I closed my eyes in Terror and hoped that I would survive this fall.
I came to halt eventually. I noticed that I was resting on something soft. Although my limbs stung painfully from the fall my head was somehow alright. I opened, still confused, my eyes. The world was still spinning. I closed my eyes once more and shook carefully my head. When I opened them once again my eyes met that something that I had fallen onto. The soft object I had fallen onto was someone’s boobs. I starred totally confused at that point on them until I locked eyes with the owner of those boobs. Blue-greyish eyes pierced trough mine and made me shiver with fear and joy at the same time. “Oh fuck! Sorry! I am so very sorry! Are you alright somehow?!” I stood up hastily while babbling out those words and held out a hand to help the girl up, while noticing, how the embarrassment crept into my cheeks. She silently gripped my outstretched hand and let me help her up, all the while giving me a look I wasn’t able to decipher.
When she stood, she suddenly burst out in anger: “You – YOU! WHAT in the name of GOD where you doing?! Can’t you watch your step?” I was utterly surprised by that anger. But somehow I understood it in my confusion. Why was she so silent just a moment ago and let me help her up, when she is clearly angered by me? I kept those thoughts in my head since I knew for sure: Wouldn’t it be for her friends - who stopped her - I would have gained an all-out attack from her. I stuttered some apologies but stopped halfway, when I noticed that I was adding oil to the fire.
So to sum it up: I was utterly overrun by her words and was so very confused. To a point where I wasn’t able to really think straight. But she still left an impression on me. An impression I couldn’t shake of easily. And I also knew: That woman has somehow managed to catch my heart in that instant we had locked our eyes.
I was irritated by that thought and followed silently my friends to a seat. My attempts to concentrate on the lecture afterwards were at naught. My mind was occupied by her eyes, which were able to catch the very essence of myself and by the feeling of ice cold water running down my spine. When I looked behind me I saw that she was sitting behind me with her friends and glared at me.
Days followed where I was unable to take my eyes of her. Where ever she was – I noticed her instantly. Either when she was in the same room as me or when she was just coming through the door of our lecture halls. She was still clearly angry with me, although I didn’t really understood why, since so much time has passed since the accident. But every time she glared at me, when our eyes locked, it caused me to automatically look away.
Days and weeks had passed until it had been two months without anything happening further between us. Just our regular eye contacts which seemed like declarations of war from her side. Even my friends started to ask me, if I have done something prior to that stupid accident. But every time I was asked, I shook my head and told them no, since I haven’t met her prior of that accident.
It was a sunny summer day, when I was in the library of the university. I looked for some reference books I could use – or rather looked for some books which I could download later as e-books from the online library of the university. Once again I bumped slightly into something, while I was scrolling around the different book titles. I was already excusing myself out of habit, when I noticed who I had bumped into. Oh shit. Bulls eye my dear. You’ve just won the jackpot. It was her.
“You - again!” I dropped a sweat. “Well. I am really sorry, that I have bumped into you. But why aren’t you warning me at least, when you noticed me going to do so?” I was really tired of that attitude of her. It was not possible, that I was always the one at fault. “Well, if miss bumpy-crash would be so kind to just open her eyes for her surroundings it wouldn’t come to this!” Is this girl lecturing me now? Oh boy. I let out a sigh. “Gosh. Are you frigging serious? I apologised already for bumping into you. But you could also be nice enough to just let it go and stop irritating me anymore with your constant war declarations! It’s not like the Countess of Angry Bird is going anywhere with being so selfish herself.”
I noticed instantly, that I made the Countess of Angry Bird really angry with that statement. Her cheeks flushed red and she seemed like she was about to growl and scratch my eyes out. This would make her like a cat which you just have annoyed enough for her to start bearing her fangs into your eyes. That thought irritated me slightly but I ignored it. I didn’t want to feel those fangs in my flesh, so I turned around and tried to take my leave.
Well. I tried. She gripped my arm firmly and pinned me down with her glare, when I turned my head around to look at her again. I let out a sigh once again. Well. War in Russian winter – here I come. I glanced at her again. I am going to die - instantly. She started to talk me down and whatsoever. I didn’t listen to her. Instead I took a closer look at her. She was rather beautiful. And I loved the angry sparkle she had in her eyes. I couldn’t help it. I smiled a little dumbfounded. This annoying woman, who just got angrier cause of my smile, was just stunningly beautiful. Well. You are already teasing her somehow. So why not taking this a step further? I smirked sheepishly at that thought. I leaned a little forward and closed her lips with mine. When our lips parted I glanced at her again. Her cheeks were still flushed. But this time out of surprise - and I think embarrassment. “Well – now that is a look I really like on you!” I laughed a little and turned around once more. She didn’t grip my arm this time, which enabled me to leave the library freely. But before I did I took a look back at her – saying that I would love to have encounters like this again – and left.
The following days were less nerve wrecking than before. I was still able to sense here whenever we were near each other. But unlike before was it rather amusing to lock eyes with her. She didn’t glare at me anymore. Instead her cheeks flushed slightly whenever our eyes met. And it was also her, who looked away instantly.
My friends asked curious, if something happened between her and me. I played innocent and answered no. And some part of me hoped that my little prank left an impression on her. Since I also knew by now, that it was not really a prank. Rather something I really loved to do with her.
It was about two weeks, when I was in the library again. It was the beginning of the summer, when I entered. At least it’s cool in here I thought that it was a bliss. Outside was already 29 degrees Celsius and it felt like the air was about to stop moving.
I once again scrambled through the different book titles and stopped at a nice reference book. I then felt something bump against me and looked irritated in that direction, when I noticed her. I blinked surprised. Oh boy. Is she going to lecture me this time again? And as if she read my mind she started to open her mouth, looking angrily at me. I acted without thought, when I closed it with mine. She looked utterly surprised and embarrassed, when we parted lips. “I told you, that I love this look on you.” I grinned sheepishly at her while saying that. Her cheeks grew redder, but she didn’t move away from me. Instead, she silently looked at the row of books before her. I turned away and looked at my reference book again.
My eyes rested only a few moments on that book, when I felt a slight bump again. I looked at her. Our eyes locked and this time it was her, who kissed me when I opened my mouth to say something. “That’s also a look I like. But I like to see it on you.” She turned around after saying that and left.
It was already midsummer. It was hot – way to hot! I got the feeling that my brain was melting away in the burning sun, while my lungs weren’t able to get enough air due to the heat. I knew that my friends weren’t in any better condition than me. I sighted silently. There isn’t even a little bit of wind here! It’s as if the air is standing still – and with it the earth. I sighted once more and went into the lecture hall where we needed to go next. “Dang it …” I looked around and saw that every spot was rather packed with students. Well of course. It’s only two weeks until finals and nobody wants to miss the opportunity to get at least a glimpse of possible questions. I sighed once more. “Down there seems to be a good spot.” I turned around and followed the gaze of my friends. I nodded slightly and headed there. But the moment I wanted to enter the row of tables I froze. I sighted. And I also heard how my friends groaning. I turned slightly to them and said quietly “Doesn’t matter. It’s alright.” I headed in the row and sat down next to her.
It didn’t seem like she noticed me when I headed there, while her friends did. She only looked in my direction, when she was aware of the stares her friends gave of and when she noticed the slight vibration of the connected seats. Her eyes grew big as she noticed me sitting right beside her. I looked at her and just said “No comment. It’s way to nerve wracking to discuss this here and now. And it’s way too hot for my brain to work.” I turned away from her and started to unpacked my backpack and lay my head on the cool desk while waiting for the beginning of the lecture.
“Are you alright?”, asked one of my friends. I groaned and answered that it was way too hot and that I should have stayed in bed where my air conditioner would help me cool down. She laughed slightly and ruffed through my hair. I sat up again when I noticed the voice of our professor and focused on the upcoming lecture.
I was bored. And hot. I think it was one of the moments when I understood how it might be to be melting ice. I also noticed that it was rather hot for her. And we both weren’t able to focus entirely on the lecture. Why not having a little fun before dying in this heat? I grinned sheepishly at that thought and touched slightly the bare skin of her leg with mine. Her instant reaction was to twitch. She looked surprised at me and then tried to focus on her notes again. I grinned more and started to caress her leg with mine. I saw a slight reddish colour creeping onto her cheeks. “Oh. I like that.” I whispered it quietly, knowing that she would be the only one to really understand what I was talking about. Her cheeks grew redder.
I really love this sight. She suddenly stopped writing. Her left hand disappeared from her desk and appeared on my thigh. I was utterly surprised by that motion and was unable to move even an inch. She noticed how tense I had gotten and started to cares my tight. Wow! She is really playing this game now, huh? I smiled slightly. I started to caress her hand and play with it. It might have been my imagination, but it seemed like it was ticklish for her. She let me do as I pleased for a few moments until she rested her hand on the desk again and continued to follow the lecture. I started to tease her more. I let my hand run up and down her side and let it ultimately rest on her tight. She fidgeted a little while I did so, but never tried to stop me.
The lecture was nearly over. I was rather sad about that. I removed my hand from her tight and followed the rest of the lecture but noticed that her leg was touching mine. It’s as if she doesn’t want to lose this contact. I smiled once more and wrote on a little paper my phone number. I carelessly let my pen fall down the desk and instantly ducked under the desk to get it back. But I also gave her tight a little kiss and put the little paper in her shoe. When I was up again I looked from the side to her. Our eyes met and my heart started to pound harder. There was a glitter in her eyes I hadn’t notice before. And it looked wonderful.
The professor ended the lecture and I and my friends started to pack our things. We were rather fast and were one of the first students to be outside again. “Oh! That’s great! At least it’s cool again!” It was already night but still – the soothing coolness of the evening did every one of us a favour and helped us cool down. I and my friends started to head to the bus station when I got a message on my mobile phone. “Let’s meet up at the Square garden in half an hour.” I grinned. My friends saw that grinning face of mine and asked if something nice has happened. My grin got wider but I told them that it was noting. They started to grin themselves and tried to pin me down with questions. I remained silent and didn’t answer. But I noticed from the corner of my eye, that she was also in the same bus as my friends and me. She was hard at work at trying to conceal a smile herself by the things she heard from my group.
It was hard to shake off my friends. But they eventually gave up. I appeared a little late in the Square garden. Well shit. We never told each other where exactly we would meet up in here. I groaned. I then felt my phone vibrating and got a hold of it. “Yeah?”, I asked without looking who was calling me. “Turn around.” I smiled. It was her voice.
I turned around, while hanging up and instantly felt a kiss on my lips. “Hey.”, she said quietly. I answered back in that same manner and kissed her once again. “So – how come you’re playing the game now?” I hold her close to me and kissed her all the while. “Is this really a game?” She asked back while answering my lips with hers. The kiss I was giving her now was deeper - and longer. We only parted our lips, when the air ran out of our lungs. “I don’t think that I can call this a game anymore.” I replied silently and rested my forehead on hers. She kissed me once again and said “Me neither.” We kissed each other again and deepened the kiss once more.
I can’t recall how long we stayed like this, when she asked “Be my girlfriend?” I grinned. “Nah. You’re going to be my girlfriend.” She laughed and bit lightly on my lips. “Gladly.”
